Have you ever stopped to consider how many of your relationship challenges are related to personality differences? As if it weren't enough dealing with gender differences, right? (And cultural differences, now that's a separate post.)
Sometimes we seem to be speaking another language than our spouse, because it sure seems like he or she isn't comprehending us! These kinds of misunderstandings originate in seeing things from a different angle than the other person. That can be explained in some cases by differences in personality.
What to do in a situation like that? There's more than one option, believe me.
A few of them aren't too productive--like throwing your hands up in the air and giving up till next time, or walking off after throwing a sarcastic (though admittedly very cleverly worded) epithet in their direction. I'm sure you can think of other similar reactions.
More helpful is to come to an understanding of what your partner's perspective is, and for your partner to try to see yours. This probably sounds easier than it is, especially if you are fed up and the situation has escalated through repeated instances, with emotions running high.
Here's where I can help out. I am good at seeing where each person is coming from, and holding a neutral space in the counseling office, so that each person can feel heard by their partner and can learn to express themselves more effectively.
Feel free to contact me anytime at 425 652-1413 or by email sheryl@sunraycounseling.com . Or visit my counseling website at www.sunraycounseling.com for more answers to your questions.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Couldn't Resist!
Well, I couldn't resist adding a painting to this post. It just seems like blogs are supposed to have pictures!
So here is one that particularly relates to our topic here -- relationships. It's called "Love in Motion" Copyright 2008 by Sheryl Brown, All Rights Reserved.
If this is a style of art you enjoy, you might hop on over to http://www.sherylbrownart.blogspot.com/ and peruse the other paintings posted there!
I would love to hear any comments on how this bit of creativity affects your mood or thoughts.
Friday, March 7, 2008
What is the real reason?
Have you ever had an argument/discussion with your partner, only to realize that all that intensity and disagreement was really about something else? For example, you have a heated debate about who left the garage door open, and when all is said and done, you are left feeling like something was completely left out.
I often refer to interactions that we all have with other people as being on several levels. At the very least, you have the surface issue, which is usually about the circumstances. Possibly there are times when exchanges between people are mostly just plain and simple--on this level. But I'm sure you've all had the experience of knowing for a fact that this discussion really isn't about who did the dishes.
Perhaps the next level concerns trust. Can you count on the other person to do what he or she said they would do? Can you count on their word? Or maybe it's about control. Who is the dominant partner, and in what areas? Possibly it's a simple personality difference.
These situations make for great introductions in a therapy session. Often by starting with a simple incident that took place recently, we can unravel some of the underlying causes of discord or discontent between partners and other family members.
To find out more about the therapy work I do, go to my main website, http://www.sunraycounseling.com/ and check out the FAQ page, or sign up for my free "31 Ways to Brighten Your Life." Or give me a call at 425 652-1413.
Catch you later!
I often refer to interactions that we all have with other people as being on several levels. At the very least, you have the surface issue, which is usually about the circumstances. Possibly there are times when exchanges between people are mostly just plain and simple--on this level. But I'm sure you've all had the experience of knowing for a fact that this discussion really isn't about who did the dishes.
Perhaps the next level concerns trust. Can you count on the other person to do what he or she said they would do? Can you count on their word? Or maybe it's about control. Who is the dominant partner, and in what areas? Possibly it's a simple personality difference.
These situations make for great introductions in a therapy session. Often by starting with a simple incident that took place recently, we can unravel some of the underlying causes of discord or discontent between partners and other family members.
To find out more about the therapy work I do, go to my main website, http://www.sunraycounseling.com/ and check out the FAQ page, or sign up for my free "31 Ways to Brighten Your Life." Or give me a call at 425 652-1413.
Catch you later!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Creative Relationships, here we come!
Welcome to my blog on creating better and more satisfying relationships!
One of my favorite things to do in this world is to help couples with their communication challenges. Couples meet me in my office in Issaquah for weekly 50 minute sessions (in most cases), and we dive right in to whatever is ailing them.
Of course, we do start out with the requisite paper work which includes a brief intake form, and a longer disclosure statement, so that you, the client, know your rights in this kind of setting. I take every consideration to protect your confidentiality, and make sure you understand what the exceptions are (for example, by law I am a mandated reporter if I suspect child abuse).
After the formalities, I invite people to relax and start wherever they feel the greatest need. Many times, this is a first time to the counselor scenario, and I like to tell folks that coming to see me as a therapist is like having a heartfelt conversation. The more you feel you can trust the counselor you have chosen, the better the work we can do.
Please visit my website http://www.sunraycounseling.com/ and read the Frequently Asked Questions page. If you have any questions that are not answered there, please email me sheryl@sunraycounseling.com and I will be happy to help!
More later!
(PS I do see individuals as well as couples!)
One of my favorite things to do in this world is to help couples with their communication challenges. Couples meet me in my office in Issaquah for weekly 50 minute sessions (in most cases), and we dive right in to whatever is ailing them.
Of course, we do start out with the requisite paper work which includes a brief intake form, and a longer disclosure statement, so that you, the client, know your rights in this kind of setting. I take every consideration to protect your confidentiality, and make sure you understand what the exceptions are (for example, by law I am a mandated reporter if I suspect child abuse).
After the formalities, I invite people to relax and start wherever they feel the greatest need. Many times, this is a first time to the counselor scenario, and I like to tell folks that coming to see me as a therapist is like having a heartfelt conversation. The more you feel you can trust the counselor you have chosen, the better the work we can do.
Please visit my website http://www.sunraycounseling.com/ and read the Frequently Asked Questions page. If you have any questions that are not answered there, please email me sheryl@sunraycounseling.com and I will be happy to help!
More later!
(PS I do see individuals as well as couples!)
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