Togetherness and Apartness

There's nothing like a shared activity that both members of a couple enjoy equally well. For many, it could be traveling, dancing, watching movies, taking long walks, or even getting "lost" in a bookstore.

But doing things apart can also be an effective way of cementing your relationship. Sometimes it is just the way things pan out--one is meeting a friend while the other has a commitment or an opportunity in a different place.

For example, today I met a friend while my husband went to the horse races. He enjoys my friend, and I enjoy being with him at the races too, but today, we each did our own thing.

These opportunities can be golden moments to remember who you are as an individual, regardless of who else you are connected with. And that makes for good, healthy relationships--to have a well-defined and well-developed sense of self. (Otherwise known as a mature self!)

It takes conscious effort to keep togetherness and apartness in balance, to take your partner's well-being and state of mind into consideration, and make sure it is always a win-win situation.

If you are struggling with either too much togetherness or apartnes, or not being on the same page as your partner, consider discussing it with a more experienced couple or with a therapist.

Remember, I'm here for you in your relationship challenges! Call me at 425 652-1413 or email me sheryl@sunraycounseling.com .