Welcome Back!

Welcome back! is what I say when a client couple has completed a round of therapy in a previous year or quarter, and feels the need to return for more work.

Coming back for more counseling need not be seen as a confirmation of failure, but rather as the desire to go deeper and further as a couple - or in the case of an individual, as a whole person.

As with any intense training or learning, there can be a need to pull away and rest, or focus on application. Some couples and individuals do better with keeping a regular schedule of therapy, like a "maintenance" level, and others do intense work for several sessions, then back away for a spell.

As a therapist, I flex easily with these kinds of varying needs. You get to set your own pace in this work.

Sometimes clients are returning because of a new crisis or rising issue, and some actually come back for something like a wellness check up as a preventative measure.

Now that school is back in session, with summer travel and outdoor events receding behind us, I say to you, Welcome back!

I thought we were both speaking English!

Have you ever stopped to consider how many of your relationship challenges are related to personality differences? As if it weren't enough dealing with gender differences, right? (And cultural differences, now that's a separate post.)

Sometimes we seem to be speaking another language than our spouse, because it sure seems like he or she isn't comprehending us! These kinds of misunderstandings originate in seeing things from a different angle than the other person. That can be explained in some cases by differences in personality.

What to do in a situation like that? There's more than one option, believe me.

A few of them aren't too productive--like throwing your hands up in the air and giving up till next time, or walking off after throwing a sarcastic (though admittedly very cleverly worded) epithet in their direction. I'm sure you can think of other similar reactions.

More helpful is to come to an understanding of what your partner's perspective is, and for your partner to try to see yours. This probably sounds easier than it is, especially if you are fed up and the situation has escalated through repeated instances, with emotions running high.

Here's where I can help out. I am good at seeing where each person is coming from, and holding a neutral space in the counseling office, so that each person can feel heard by their partner and can learn to express themselves more effectively.

Feel free to contact me anytime at 425 652-1413 or by email sheryl@sunraycounseling.com . Or visit my counseling website at www.sunraycounseling.com for more answers to your questions.